To answer that, I first have to backtrack and tell you how my Sunday went.
Terribly.
By terribly I don't mean that I fell off the wagon. I mean that my timeline was so messed up that I ate virtually nothing all day. Which gave me the mistaken impression that it would then be okay to eat the bar mitzvah meal fully, since I hadn't used up my carbs, proteins, treats and snacks of the day.
But hey, I'm allowed to be human when the occasion calls for it.
So basically what happened was, that by Sunday morning I had plum run out of food. Seriously. There wasn't a MORSEL to be had.
I do my big weekly shopping on Sunday mid-morning, so there's very little food left before I go to the store.
I still managed to do breakfast okay; I toasted my last 2 pieces of whole wheat bread in the oven and made an omelette with cooking spray. All the veggies I had chopped a week before were soggy and mushy already, so I figured i'd have a lot of veggies with lunch.
I had breakfast at 10:00. At 10:40 I put Toddler on his bus. Then I spoke to my sister on the phone while I cleaned up a bit. My plan was to go out shopping @ 11:00 and take along an oola bar to munch on the way. The only problem is.... we were out of oola bars. I had tossed two into my autistic son's backpack for his Sunday program and my husband had given him a third to nosh on the way to the program. So there were no bars.
Okay, no problem, I'll have a fruit before I leave. I open the fruit drawer. The last 2 apples are brown and soggy. No oranges. No grapefruit. Yikes!
Should I have a TAP muffin? But they were all frozen, and I had run out of coffee grounds to at least drink on the side.
Popcorners? I was out. PRetzels? I only had a small bag of broken pretzels and really didn't want to waste my snack on that.
By now it was almost 12 noon. Tummy was getting grumbly. After rummaging in the fridge I found some baby carrots. PERFECT!! I munched on a few to quiet that tummy. Finally I left the house to go shopping.
2 hours, 10 stores, 9 shopping bags, and -$180 later, I was back home, starving. I had never gone that long without eating, especially since starting this program. Before the diet, I'd grab anything just to quiet that hunger. But now, with the food plan, I couldn't eat just stam anything.
It was 2 pm by now and I was due to have lunch. But I hadn't even had my snack yet. And I couldn't have lunch, because the whole wheat bread, tuna, and veggies were at the grocery store in a box, awaiting delivery. and I still couldn't have a snack or fruit because those, too, were in the box!!
So more carrots were munched.
Finally the grocery order arrived at 2:30. Like a starving woman I ripped open the boxes. There was no time to put togther tuna and veggies and such; Toddler's bus would be here soon. I hit a brainstorm: While it's unconventional and very frowned upon according to the plan, I would just push off my mealtimes today. It would work out perfectly, because ordinarily I can't wait til 9:30 to eat supper. I was worried I"d have to eat supper with my family at 7 and then find some fruits to nibble on @ the bar mitzvah. So instead, I had an OOLA bar with a coffee at 2:30, hoping to eat lunch 2 or so hours later, and then have my second snack 2 hours after that, and then my late bar mitzvah dinner.
Have I learned NOTHING from the history of my life???
From the moment Toddler walked through the door, I had no time to breathe, eat, or prepare food, for many hours. Between entertaining Toddler, his older brother who came home 2 hours later, getting supper ready for the family, serving said supper, preparing Middle Son's meds, unpacking the grocery order, yada yada yada, I found myself saying at 7:15 pm, "Do you know I haven't eaten lunch yet?"
It was preposterous. A true recipe for disaster. Tanya's program specifically mandates that you eat every 2-3 hours so that your body doesn't go into starvation mode and your metabolism doesn't slow down. I had violated this cardinal rule. All I had eaten that day was breakfast and snack and it was already evening! And nary a vegetable or a sip of water had cross my lips yet!
My wonderful husband took over minding the kids and told me go to eat. I combined the tuna with the lowfat mayo, broke out a box of cherry tomatoes, and had a carb-less lunch at 7:45 p.m. I added a juicy orange for good measure, and realized with delight that i was so full, that cheating at the bar mitzvah wouldn't even cross my mind.
My family's supper was grilled chicken cutlets, lukshen-mit-brazel (breaded macaroni), and for good measure, since it was Pesach Sheini, I made our family favorite: Matzah meal chremslech. It's made of eggs, matzah meal, and sugar, and fried in oil. Pre-diet I wouldve scarfed down half a dozen of these. Now, as much as the aroma filled me with nostalgia, it didn't occur to me to sample one. Once I have gotten rid of that craving for carbs and sugars and fried food, the thought of eating it made me sick; a moment of instant gratification for weeks of hard work to get those pounds off!
Before I went to the bar mitzvah, I decided that I would handle the food as follows: skip the challah roll, skip the appetizer - unless it was vegetable based, then I'd eat the veggies and not the starchy part; eat the soup, even though I know it's probably chock full of forbidden fats and stuff; and eat the chicken/meat on the main dish, as well as the veggies, but skip the starchy sides. It goes without saying that I wouldn't touch the dessert, or any of the cakes/miniatures at the sweet table.
Lmaaseh, when I sat down and found myself faced with the most delectable-looking vegetable blintz/quiche, all reserve flew out the window. Yes, I knew that technically this was not part of the diet plan, and this thing was full of fats and starches and whatever, but still, it was vegetables. And pieces of pastrami... the actual skin of the blintz or knish or wahtever it was, was pretty thin. The appetizer was delicious. and when I was done, I was shocked how full I was!!!
The vegetable soup was delicious, but there were forbidden nockerlech (egg drops) inside. I turned a mental blind eye and ate them. I had just one helping of carbs today, only one snack, and not having a treat later, I rationalized. When the main plate arrived, there was a sweet sauce on the chicken which I avoided while eating the chicken underneath; I took one taste of the potato thingy and decided it wasn't worth it; and I nibbled on the veggies. And you know what? By then I was so full, it was 10:30 pm, and there was just no need to eat anymore.
My friend, the mother of the bar mitzvah boy, brought over slices of the rich, cloying, decadent ziegelman's cake she herself had baked. I looked at that cake, and thought, piece of junk. In the past, I wouldve polished off a slice. Now, i thought, this is purely for the sake of eating. And why? I'm already full. Who needs extra sticky calories? It wasn't even a nisayon to pass.
Dessert was served; a tall glass of Irish chocolatey coffee, a piece of parve ice cream flower, and some other chocolatey treat. I didn't even feel a pang. I walked over to the sweet table and took a glass thingy filled with pieces of canteloupe and nibbled on that instead.
So in summary, yes, I'm aware that none of the food I ate that night was probably allowed according to Tanya's plan. But you know what? I had budgeted for it. I had eaten sparingly all day to begin with. And I skipped the cakes and desserts! I'm sure had I talked it over with Rachel last week, she wouldve given me guidance on how to manage a simcha. But I was on my own, so I did the best I could. I believe a person shouldn't deprive themselves completely of simcha food and just nibble on a piece of lettuce. There's a golden middle-way.
There's one thing I did this week that'll make Tanya proud: I have not weighed myself since Wednesday. I have no idea if I lost, gained, or stayed the same. It has not been my best week and I have not even kept a food log. I have very little to show when I go to my weigh-in on Wednesday. So maybe I'll just skip it. Or maybe not. Maybe Rachel will read the blog and have choice things to say to me on Wednesday :D.
I'll let you know on Wednesday how it goes!
On a lighter note, my Toddler loves to feed me and is quite upset the way I fight him when he tries to push a piece of chocolate or cookie into my mouth. "Mommy nisht of a diet! Mommy essen!" he insists.
Oh, and one more interesting piece that I discovered yesterday: You know those "foxy pops" - freeze pops - the thin plastic filled with sugar-and-flavored-water taht the kids love? It's only 25 calories. 0 grams fat. A perfect treat when you just need a bit of frozen sugar water after supper. :D
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